Dumb Blonde Jokes

No 1. Telling A Blonde Joke

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he's a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

No.2 Changing A Light Bulb

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

No.3 Blonde Flying First Class.

There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.

Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.

They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"

No.4 Blonde One-Liners

Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to re-train.

What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't figure out how to fit the bottle in the typewriter.

What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4 way stop.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? "Toe goes in first".

What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios? "OH LOOK!!! Donut seeds."

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant with twins.

Three blondes walked into a bar. You'd think that one of them would have seen it.

How do you know there's a blonde secretary working in an office? The boss is always smiling.

Why is a blonde like a mosquito? She starts sucking, you keep slapping her away and she comes back for more.

Why is a blonde like a bowling ball? You finger her three times, you shag her down an alley and she always comes back for more.

Why is a blonde like a tv? A child can turn her on.

No.5 Wrong Way Warning

A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" said the blonde. "There's f*ck*ng hundreds of them!"